There are several issues with entertainment news story:
The first paragraph vaguely establishes, in more than one sentence, the essential: who, what, where, but when, why and how is not mentioned. Two of those three important details are established much later in the piece.
It doesn’t provide audience with basic information in a concise way (CQUniversity 2015). This entertainment piece also breaks the rule ‘no paragraph more than one sentence.’ Resulting in lengthy paragraphs, making it a chore to read.
Dave O’Neil (although not a journalist, a comedian by trade) seems to have no concept on the principal that reporters are there to report. Journalists are supposed to be objective and invisible. “Journalists should not, in our view, take advantage of their position to promote their own opinion – it is the talent in the news article who has the opinion” (CQUniversity 2015).
Furthermore this story includes a lot of trivial information, According to Whitaker, Ramsey and Smith, a story must include only what is relevant. Tedious details about Rob Pattinson’s Bodyguard make it annoying to read. In addition to a missing word in paragraph Four, where O’Neil says he ‘feel[s] sorry Rob’ instead of ‘feel[s] sorry FOR Rob’. All in all, a sloppy story that lacks direction and purpose.
This news story by Agforce established essential information within the first paragraph; who, what when, where and how in a cohesive and concise manner. It demonstrates understanding of the ‘inverted pyramid concept’ (Whitaker, Ramsey & Smith 2012). The story is brief, with minimal words so successfully incorporates the ‘ABC of writing – accuracy, brevity and clarity’ (CQUniversity 2015).
The densest information comes first and each sentence is a new paragraph. All facts are checked and have a resource (the survey). Conversely to the Dave O’Neil story, the Agforce writer is objective and invisible.
With compliance of the ‘ABC of writing’ and the ‘inverted pyramid concept’ this story is easily read and understood and is a well written example of a news story.
a. Events to Cover:
Marriage Equality Rally: 16 August 2015
Village Festival: 21-23 August 2015
I plan to cover the Marriage Equality Rally held in Rockhampton on August 16th, 2015. The rally is held on the 11th anniversary of the Howard Government amending the Marriage Act 1961 in 2004, to officially ban same-sex marriage. The march will start at Riverside Park, Quay St, Rockhampton then end at the PCYC. Event organiser Rebecca Leeks urges people to show support and ‘Let our local MPs Michelle Landry and Ken O’Dowd know we are sick of waiting. If Ireland and the USA can do it, we can too!’
Alternatively I could cover the Village Festival, a three day event held at various locations throughout Yeppoon, QLD. The festival program involves live music, performing arts, workshops, children’s activities, and market and food stalls. This year’s headliners include Kasey Chambers and Darren Middleton out of renowned Brisbane band ‘Powderfinger’, along with several other Australian bands.
The rally is a small event that has one purpose: to walk from one part of town to another, to raise awareness for the ban against same sex marriage. As the event is going to be a walk, there will be no areas gated off and access should be easy.
Conversely the Village Festival is quite large. Depending on what day or event you attend, it is free to get in. I believe no accreditation is necessary as it’s a family event so there will be people with camera’s snapping away all day.
d.The main parts of the even include:
Marriage Equality Rally: Speeches start at 1pm, rally to PCYC Park via Michelle Landry’s office at 1.45pm.
Village Festival: Photo exhibition launch and Luna markets is Friday night, along with other food and market stalls on Saturday and Sunday. To interview market stall owners
e. People to get content from:
Marriage Equality Rally:
Participants, volunteers, families of LGBTI families.
Event organiser Rebecca Leeks.
Village Festival: Volunteers, artists, attendees or perhaps sponsors including employees from the Sea Haven, the Strand Hotel and CQUniversity.
f. Why planning is important:
Timing: it is crucial because if your timing is not planned out, you could miss something important (CQUniversity 2015).
Review schedule: so you can plan accordingly and establish main events so you don’t miss them (CQUniversity 2015).
Obtain accreditation if necessary. Be prepared and organise it so you don’t get denied access on the day (CQUniversity 2015).
- Research facts and people. Who is coming? Learn about the event, organise your logistics. Be prepared to adapt as the event unfolds. (CQUniversity 2015).
g. Summary of Plan:
Although the Village Festival would have more information and variety to cover, the Marriage Equality Rally is what I am more passionate about so I have decided to cover that. I plan on scheduling my day, arriving early enough to speak to people there.
Planning TO DO:
- Research more information about history and event details.
- Finding correct hashtag, if not establish one.
- Planning tweets and saving them as a draft on my phone with set #’s for convenience on day.
- Scheduling out time and when and what to post for 15 + tweets.
- Plan content according to possible story aspects.
This week’s quiz was about grammar problems and confusions. My first attempt resulted in me getting 9/10. I felt annoyed by this, as the question I got wrong was a multiple choice that I felt I was slightly tricked by. The questions was:
‘Writing that something is ‘more perfect’ is incorrect because:
a. It is redundant
b. It is ludicrous and unnecessary
c. It is verbose and over descriptive
d. All of the above
The “correct” answer was B, which I felt unfair, as all of these answers could be considered right. I don’t want to speak too soon, but I quite enjoy these quizzes. I’m getting higher marks than I thought I would; I try my best to use the correct grammar and punctuation, yet know that it is not my strongest skill and feel like there is always potential to be wrong.
Agforce 2015, ‘Drought worst in living memory’, viewed 4th July 2015, http://www.agforceqld.org.au/index.php?tgtPage=news&id=view,478
CQUniversity 2015, COMM11007 Media Writing: Week 4 The Basic News Story, viewed 4th July 2015 https://moodle.cqu.edu.au/pluginfile.php/149393/mod_resource/content/4/1.%20COMM11007%20Week%204%20Lesson.pdf
Facebook 2015, Marriage Equality Rally Facebook Event Page, viewed 4th July 2015, https://www.facebook.com/events/1466679223647658
O’Neil, D 2014, ‘Robert Pattinson talks about his new film, The Rover, with Dave O’Neil’, Sydney Morning Herald, 16 June 2014, viewed 4 July 2015, http://www.smh.com.au/entertainment/robert-pattinson-talks-about-his-new-film-the-rover-with-dave-oneil-20140619-zs99j.html
Village Festival 2015, Program 2015, viewed 4th July 2015, http://www.thevillagefestival.org.au/
Whitaker, R, Ramsey, J & Smith, R 2012, Media writing: print broadcast and public relations, 4th edn, Routledge, New York.